CELEBRITY WAREHOUSES

16th April - 22nd April

Reporter: M. Gosling
Linda Barker was today forced to only do one appearance at a time after her warehouse burnt to the ground today. The warehouse which contained a thousand Linda Barkers burned more quickly because the Barkers were built with cheap flammable settee foam. The fire brigade took over 3 hours to control the blaze. Linda Barker who will be doing over a million personal appearances and endorsements this year is said to be disappointed over the blaze. Carol Voderman categorically denied that she had anything to do with the blaze, the thought came after police admitted that since Barkers rise Voderman stock fell sharply. Carol Vorderman was an icon a couple of years ago she advertised everything and made loads of appearances. The Carol Vorderman warehouse closed at the beginning of the year. Ebay is full of Vodermans for sale to the highest bidder. Celebrity warehouses have become very popular with Celebes wanting to do as many endorsements and appearances as they can. Jeremy Beadle at one time commanded the biggest warehouse. The Two thumb seven and half figure presenter now owns a hundred Jeremy Beadles that he can do nothing with. The nation garden Nome society reportedly offered to take them off his hands.