UK TO SPLIT?

16th APRIL - 22nd APRIL

Reporter: M. Gosling
The Government announced that in a United Kingdom shake up they are to sell Wales to the highest bidder. The country will go on the market in the next two weeks. Several "FOR SALE" signs will be placed along the boarder with England to help attract prospective buyers. The culture sectary Chris Clarke strongly denied this was a move to help make being English popular again. However Clarke who likes the odd drink was in a bar on Friday night with a top secret reporter working for us. After several pints of lager and Vodka chasers the secretary for state stated "Everyone and their mother claims that they are Welsh these days. An investigation was run by us to find stuff out you see. We found out that Tom Jones was actually from Bognor Regis for god sake. We also looked into a report of 'The Secret Welsh Society' this group try to convert English celebs and V.i.p's into becoming Welsh".
This disturbing information is why we here we believe that the Government plans to sell the country. The media is rife with who will exactly buy and rule the county. The major contended include the countries of Iran and Cuba and more surprisingly Peru. However a group of Welsh Celebs lead by former STEPS singer 'H' have announced that they are trying to come up with money. The group calling themselves 'Forever Welsh" are to try a number of ideas to raise funds without touching their own money. A single will be launched sung by the famous voices of Wales with "H" himself leading the group. The single called "Hello Boy 'o' will be released on Monday.
If successful the Celebes intend to form a Government voted by the people. Many rules will be introduced including a "being banned for not been properly Welsh" also ginger hair and everyone changing their surname to Jones will come into force.