26th April 2005

HE MAN SHOCK!!!

Reporter: M. Gosling
Anorexic groups yesterday condemned he-man after his public comments about Skeletor. He-Man who was doing a live phone-in on the Today program made a comment about his nemesis' boney complexion and poor eating habits. It comes as yet another blow for the Prince. Who was found to be taking steroids to build himself up more for the up coming Master of the Universe Games in September. He-Man is also in trouble by the RSPCA for keeping a rare green tiger without a license.

LIFE ON MARS

Reporter: M. Gosling.
NASA yesterday confirmed that they had received an electronic signal from the red planet. The signal, which was in the form of a letter, was official notice that Mars intends to sue Hollywood for mis-representation. The Letter stated that at no time has Mars invaded, visited, hurled objects at the Earth. Furthermore Marians look nothing like the ones portrayed by Hollywood over the years.

MONKEY MADNESS

Reporter: M. Gosling
The Government have announced that the cabinet is to have a two week Holiday. The Government will be replaced by a set of trained Monkeys. The Monkeys will run the country and make any decisions they feel fit in the time they have power. The entire cabinet have been criticised for this decision to go on holiday for two weeks especially with it co-inciding with the two week visit of the American President George W Bush. The head monkey "BILLY" will take the role of Prime Minister. The American press have covered the situation on American television and have interviewed a spokes person for the white house. The Spokes person stated that the president was looking forward to his visited especially to open communications with the new prime minister. A insider for the white house also stated that Mr Bush was looking forward to finally having a World leader on his level of intelligence and communication.