POPE'S HIS CLOGS

8th April - 15th April

Reporter: D. Stanley
The pope’s body-double is to be buried today. The fake Pope was killed by Cardinals, just as tradition states, just seconds after the real Pope died. The Cardinals used a huge, iron cross dropped from a great height to kill the duplicate Pontiff, just as all the fake popes before him, and his remains were scooped up into a special holy bucket which bears the symbol of two Popes intertwined amid a question mark.
The fake Pope, real name Edward Wickerman, will be laid to rest in an exact replica of Saint Peter’s church in Rome’s sister city of Hull.
Reports of the fake Pope “Trying to leg it” as the Cardinals tried to kill him are “greatly exaggerated” said the church today.